Help someone with depression by listening without judgement, acknowledging their feelings, offering specific practical help, gently encouraging professional support, staying in touch even when they withdraw, and taking any talk of suicide seriously by seeking immediate help. Avoid telling them to "cheer up". Look after your own wellbeing too.
Recognising depression
Signs may include persistent sadness or emptiness, loss of interest in activities, tiredness, sleep and appetite changes, difficulty concentrating, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, withdrawal and, in some cases, thoughts of death or suicide. Depression is a health condition, not a weakness or lack of faith.
What to say
- "I have noticed you seem down lately. I am here if you want to talk."
- "That sounds really hard. Thank you for telling me."
- "You are not a burden."
- "How can I help right now?"
What to avoid
- "Just think positive" or "Others have it worse."
- Lecturing or offering quick fixes.
- Making it about yourself.
- Promising to keep secrets if their safety is at risk.
Practical help
Depression makes small tasks feel huge. Offer specific help: cooking a meal, going for a short walk together, helping book an appointment, or sitting with them while they make a difficult call.
Encourage professional support
Depression is treatable. Encourage them to see a doctor, psychiatrist or psychologist. Offer to help find a service or attend the first appointment. Our psychiatrists and therapists offer private online sessions.
Stay in touch
People with depression often withdraw. Keep reaching out with low-pressure messages, even if they do not reply.
If you are worried about suicide
Ask directly and calmly: "Are you thinking about ending your life?" Asking does not put the idea in their head. If they say yes, or if you believe they are at risk, do not leave them alone, remove means of harm if safe to do so, and contact emergency services or a crisis line immediately. In Pakistan: Rescue 1122 or the Umang helpline on 0311 7786264.
Look after yourself
Supporting someone can be draining. Share the load with others, keep your own routines and seek support if you need it.
Frequently asked questions
Can I make their depression worse by talking about it?
Gentle, non-judgemental conversation usually helps. Silence and stigma tend to make things worse.
What if they refuse help?
Keep the door open, share information, and seek urgent help if there is any risk to their safety.
Is depression common in Pakistan?
Depression is common worldwide, including in Pakistan, though stigma often stops people seeking help. See mental health stigma in Pakistan.
