For Parents
How to Get the Most Out of Parents' Evening
By Sarah Ahmed · · 4 min read
Quick answer
Prepare two or three specific questions per subject rather than asking how your child is doing. The most useful are: what is the single thing that would most improve their work, where exactly are they losing marks, and what should they do differently at home. Write the answers down and act on one per subject.
Decide what you want to know
'How is he doing?' produces a summary you could have read on the report. With five minutes, specificity is everything.
Go in with two or three written questions per subject. Teachers respond well to this, because it lets them give you something useful instead of a general impression.
The three questions worth asking
First: what is the one thing that would most improve their work in your subject? This forces prioritisation and usually produces the most actionable answer of the evening.
Second: where exactly are they losing marks — content, technique, or timing? Third: what should they be doing at home that they are not? These three cover diagnosis and action in about four minutes.
Ask about effort separately from attainment
A grade conflates ability, effort, and what has been taught. Asking 'is this the result of not understanding it or not doing the work?' separates them, and the answer changes what you do next entirely.
Teachers usually know the difference and will tell you plainly if asked directly.
Bring your child if you can
Conversations about a student that happen without them tend to produce a defensive retelling afterwards. Having them present means everyone hears the same thing and can agree the same action.
It also means the target is negotiated rather than imposed, which makes it far more likely to happen.
Write it down
You will not remember eight conversations. Write the key point from each and, crucially, the single action agreed. Six vague impressions are worth less than three specific things to change.
Reading the notes back a week later is also how you find out whether anything actually changed.
Follow up if it matters
If a subject raised something serious, email the teacher afterwards to confirm what you agreed and ask for a check-in in a few weeks. Written follow-up converts a five-minute conversation into an actual plan.
If the same concern appears from several teachers, that pattern is more important than any individual comment — and worth raising with a form tutor or head of year.
Frequently asked questions
What's the best question to ask a teacher?+
'What is the one thing that would most improve their work in your subject?' It forces prioritisation and gives you something specific to act on, unlike a general progress summary.
Should my child come to parents' evening?+
Usually yes. It avoids second-hand retelling, means everyone agrees the same action, and treats them as a participant in their own education rather than a subject of it.
What if I disagree with a teacher's assessment?+
Ask for the evidence behind it — which pieces of work, which assessments. That is a more productive route than disagreement, and it usually clarifies things quickly for both sides.
How do I raise a concern about a teacher?+
Stay factual and focus on the effect on your child rather than the teacher's approach. If it is serious, follow up with the head of department or head of year in writing.
What should I do afterwards?+
Choose one action per subject and make it concrete — a weekly past paper, a specific topic to revisit, a change to homework routine. Six vague resolutions achieve less than two specific ones.
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